THE VORTEX: PART TWO

Continuing where we last left off, Zim is still aborting Dib’s computer in the basement. Faint crashing and ripping sounds can be heard overhead, as if the Membrane destruction robot is tearing apart the house. GIR is still muttering to himself about Brain Freezies, and Gaz is staring up the stairs with her hands on her hips.

Zim (connecting the last two wires): Yes! I managed to abort.

Dib: But this is a human computer. Do you think it will contact?

Zim: Yes, I’m sure. All you need to do is reverse the wires and it will contact any planet in the known galaxy.

Dib: Very… Nice. (Turns his back, then grins and clenches his fists) SO cool!

Zim (staring at the screen): Okay, let’s see… Darned human keyboard…

He types in a few words, then presses the "ENTER" key. Green letters flash across the screen, spelling out CONTACTING.

Zim: I hope this works…

Dib (whipping around): Darn it, don’t tell me you’re not COMPLETELY sure!

Zim is silent. Dib stares at the screen for a few minutes, then folds his arms on the head of Zim’s chair and stares at it some more.

Scene switches to the Tallest’s ship. Red is resting on one of the couches, wearing headphones. The volume is turned up loud enough for it to be heard visually, and sounds exactly like Nickelback’s song "How You Remind Me". He has a soda in one hand.

Then a faint ringing sound is heard.

Purple (shouting o/c): Red, could you get that?

Red (yelling over the noise of the headphones): What?

Purple: Take off the headphones!

Red: WHAT?

Purple: TAKE—OFF—THE—HEADPHONES!

Red: Oh! Sure!

He unhooks the headphones from his head and sets down the soda.

Red: Now, what was it you wanted?

Purple: We have a message on the computer.

Red: So, answer it!

Purple: I can’t. I’m in the shower.

Red: So you expect me to answer it?

Purple: Yes.

Red: D’oh. Okay, fine.

He gets up from the couch and switches on the computer screen. The computer remains black for a second, then lights up.

Computer: Message from Earth.

Red (imitating Homer Simpson again): D’OH! Not this!

Zim and Dib appear on the screen. Gaz is in the background, still staring up at the doorway, and GIR is skipping around, singing the Doom song.

Zim: Hello, Red.

Red: Look, I’m busy right now. Can we do this some other time?

Zim (fiercely): No. Listen, my planet is being attacked by a bunch of evil robot droids. I need a word of advice.

Red: Here’s a word of advice for you… GET LOST!

Zim: Over my dead body!

Red: We must have a bad connection.

Zim: Are you kidding? There’s nothing wrong with—

Red takes his soda and dumps it over the control panel. It begins to spark with electricity, and Zim’s image starts to fade out.

Zim: Hey! Wait! Holy cow, you were right! Aw man! Red! I need your—

The screen goes completely blank. Red gets up from the control panel and stares at the empty soda container.

Red (annoyed): That was a perfectly good soda too.

Scene switches back to the basement of Dib’s house. The computer has gone completely black. Zim gets up from the chair, and Dib gets up from the head.

Dib: Man, your leaders are sarcastic!

Zim: Aw, they’re not that bad. They gave me a secret mission, after all.

Dib: Sure sounds bad. (Pauses) Aw, forget it. All we know now is that we’re trapped in the basement of my own house with a crazy robot that looks like my dad rampaging upstairs! How could it get worse?

Then a loud CRUNCH! Sound is heard. Dib, Zim and Gaz turn to look at the door, which seems to be giving way. Another sound just like the first is heard, and then an iron fist comes smashing through the door. It draws back in, then smashes through again.

Zim (in terror): Dib, I think it’s just about to get worse.

Gaz: It’s coming downstairs!

GIR (looking up): Who’s coming downstairs?

Then the fist comes smashing through once again, grabs hold of the door, and yanks it, snapping the hinges and breaking the door. The robot looks at them, roars, then starts running down the stairs.

Zim, Dib, Gaz and GIR: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

They run from the robot, which comes after them. It chases them around the lab a few times, then they dive behind a desk. The robot, however, has X-ray vision, spots them out, and brings its fist down on the desk. The desk cracks in two, and Zim, Dib, Gaz and GIR run from the robot yet again.

Dib (still running, staring at Zim): It’s no use! We can’t run from this thing, and we can’t hide from it either!

GIR: Yay! We’re all doomed!

Zim: Not really. If we can get to my headquarters, we should be able to escape from it. If not, whatever GIR said was right.

Gaz: Okay, I’ll do anything to get away from this thing!

They run up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. The robot glances after them and is instantly aware of what is going on. It growls then thunders up the stairs after them.

They don’t stop even when they get outside. Dib turns around to look the robot. It is now dangerously close.

Dib: Yah! Zim, it’s gaining on us!

Zim: It’s WHAT?

Suddenly GIR, powered by his rocket jets, flies by. He waves at them.

GIR: Hello, Master! Hello, person things!

Zim (grinning): Pant Pant—That’s it! (Turns to GIR) GIR, get down a bit more!

GIR: Why?

Zim: Just follow my commands and NO ONE GETS HURT!

GIR: Okay…

He lowers himself down a bit more. Zim catches up to him, then jumps onto his back. Dib and Gaz are still in the path of the robot, which is only about two feet away from them.

Zim (pondering to himself): Should I do it?

The robot raises its fist and is about to smash Dib’s head. Zim grabs onto GIR’s ears and turns him around.

Zim (eyes shut, gritting his teeth): I’m going to live to regret this. GIR, forward!

GIR: Yes Sir!

GIR revs up, then rockets forward. Zim grabs Dib by his shirt collar and hoists him onto GIR just as the robot smashes its fist into the concrete. GIR whips around and starts rocketing the other way. Gaz runs faster, then leaps on after them.

Dib: All right! We made it!

Zim turns around to look at the robot, which is still gaining on them.

Zim: Not for long. (Turns back, then points ahead) GIR, go the fastest you can possibly go!

GIR: Yes Sir!

GIR revs up once more, then rockets forward with great speed. The robot grows farther and farther away. Dib turns around to look at it.

Dib (over the roar of the wind): Yeah! We’re losing it!

Gaz: Yes!

Zim: Great! Hang on… We’re coming towards my yard!

Zim turns GIR towards the yard. GIR zooms down, then hits the ground and screeches across the grass. He gets ground into the dirt on the way. As soon as he has stopped, Zim and the others, covered with dust and grass, get up.

Gaz (straightening her hair): Wow! That’s the only way to travel!

Dib (looking down the street): I don’t think we’ve got it off our track for long. (Turns to the others) Come on; let’s get into the house before that thing spots us again.

Zim (nodding): Good idea. Come on.

They run up the front sidewalk and through the door. Dib looks highly surprised when he sees the slashed furniture. Gaz stares around at the ruined house.

Gaz (sarcastically): Nice decoration.

Zim: Oh shut up. Someone or something broke in here earlier and destroyed the place. (Glances around the house) They killed GIR too.

GIR (blinks): I’m a ZOMBIE? (Pauses) Cool!

Zim (crossing his arms): No, you’re NOT a zombie. (Turns around) I can’t think of what the race might be… Not the Fogdog…

Dib: DEFINETLY not the Fogdog. We creamed them long ago. They wouldn’t dare choose another Leader and try it again.

Zim: Well, whatever they were, they knew I was an alien and wanted something of mine. (Ponders, staring straight ahead) I just can’t think what…

There is a long pause while Zim thinks and the others watch him. Then—

Zim (terrified): THEY WOULDN’T!

Dib (jumps in surprise): They wouldn’t what?

Zim: I can’t explain it. I have to show you it. (Gestures Dib towards him) Follow me, Dib.

Dib in confusion follows Zim through the hallway. They stop in front of the toilet.

Zim: This could be painful.

Dib: Jumping into a toilet is just humiliating, not painful.

Zim: It’s not a toilet, you moron, it’s an elevator! Are you blind?

Dib: I’d rather you didn’t make fun of my vision.

Zim: Oh forget it. I’ll go first.

He leaps into it and falls through the three floors again to the main lab and hits the ground again. Dib looks down, then jumps in after Zim. He too falls through the three floors and hits the ground.

He gets up, then follows Zim through a maze of passages to a large door, which has been sliced open by a weapon of some sort. Zim runs in, and Dib follows him.

Dib looks around him in wonder, as there are almost 100 different creatures in glass tubes lined up on the walls, including an Armordron and Roundafeline. (See Universal Crisis for further details on these creatures.) Zim drags him through the room until they reach the back. A large glass tube, larger then the other creatures’, is smashed open. Orange fluid is leaking out onto the floor, and the wires that might have suspended the creature are snapped. Dib stares at it.

Dib (pointing at the smashed tube): So, what exactly did this hold?

Zim: The most dangerous of all creatures.

Dib: How so?

Zim (staring at the tube): It held an Ergetigaton.

Dib (cocking his eyebrow): A what?

Zim: Oh yes, I forgot. You’re a human. (Pauses) Okay, an Ergetigaton is a giant doglike creature. It’s taller then what you humans call "skyscrapers" and its teeth are twice as long as a football field. (Pauses again, staring at the glass tube) It took forever to chain it down and suspend it into a coma state like that. If that thing ever got loose, it would kill anything that got in its way.

Dib: ANYTHING that got in its way?

Zim: Yes, duh. Do I have to repeat everything?

Dib: Well, no… It just freaks me out to think that something like that got loose.

Zim: If it was in its coma state, that meant only an electric shock could bring it back. It didn’t break loose on its own. Something took it. And it had to be something powerful too.

Dib (staring at the tube): Like what?

Zim: Well, I learned on Irk that the only thing that can chain and suspend a creature like this is… Oh no.

Dib: What now?

Zim: Let’s just say we’d better get to the Vootrunner—QUICK.

Dib and Zim fade into computer images on the screen of a control panel.

Dib: What are you so terrified about?

Zim: I can’t tell you it now. I’ll tell you when we actually take on the things.

Then a slimy, two-fingered hand reaches out and presses a button near the screen. The images of Zim and Dib slowly fade out. The hand draws back. The camera switches to a strange looking alien creature in a chair.

The creature is a dark green color with glowing red eyes and four legs on its body instead of two. It has the original number of arms, but they have two fingers each and on the end of each one is a sharp metal claw. It has a whiplike tail and orange glands on either side of its head. A long black cape is flowing out behind it.

Creature (a monster-like voice): Yes… (Tapping its fingers on the control panel) So the creatures on that planet want to stop us from carrying out our mission. (Laughs) Ho-no, it is not THEY who will stop US. WE will stop THEM.

A smaller creature, resembling a lizard with an extra eye in the middle of its forehead, walks into view. It stops in front of the creature.

Lizard Creature: Sir, the computer monitor for Planet Earth says that—

Creature (waving his hand): I know. Four foreign creatures are trying to stop us. One Irken, one Irken Slave, and the other two are Earthlings. But our race is much more advanced then theirs. Ours will pulverize them! (Pauses) Hey, wait a minute… I thought I told you to paralyze them too!

Lizard Creature: Aw man, but the little Irken Slave was too cute with those big eyes and—

Creature: Uh-huh. (Waves his hand) Go back. The two soldiers is set there didn’t jinx the Irken’s vehicle. They’ll come, and we’ll be ready for them.

Lizard Creature: Yeah. Whatever you say.

Fade to black.

Scene switches to Zim, Dib, Gaz and GIR in the lab, near the Sky Portal. Zim is checking over the Vootrunner for any errors, while Dib checks over the Vootrunner display.

Dib: You have a driver’s license, Zim?

Zim (getting up from the bottom of the Vootrunner): An Irken one, yes.

Dib: I don’t think that counts on Earth though.

Zim: Who cares? Everyone’s been replaced with evil destroyer droids anyway! (Slides open the Vootrunner door) But just in case, we’re going at night so anyone who’s left won’t see us.

Gaz (leaning against the side of the Vootrunner): I don’t think there IS anyone left.

Zim (getting out through the other door): Yeah, but last time I did that I ended up crashing into an alien ceremony. (Stands in front of the Vootrunner with his hands on his hips) Well, I’ve checked it and it’s completely error-free. They didn’t jinx it whatsoever.

Dib: But if they wanted to stop us, why didn’t they jinx the Vootrunner too? I mean, it’s like they WANT us to go out into space to try and stop them.

GIR: I like tacos… They don’t like me!

Zim: We’ll worry about that later tonight, when we actually RIDE this thing.

Dib: Hey, how about we videotape the evil robots? Then we could show Dad and the other people of Earth what happened!

Zim (hissing through clenched teeth): Should I still wear my disguise?

Dib: I’ll take care of you later. Right now we’re just doing the robots.

Zim: Then I’ll leave it on, just in case.

Dib (staring at Gaz): Yeah, don’t want to freak Gaz out too.

GIR: Piggies! Pig! PIGG--GGIES!

Dib: Besides, you’re doing the video taping.

Zim: I don’t have an Earth video camera.

Dib: Then use an Irken one, like heck I care!

Gaz: Will you two shut up? I’m in the Zone.

Zim (looking at Gaz): She’s been in too, huh?

Dib: That’s just her. (Looks at the Vootrunner) It’s like a car, right?

Zim: Well, it’s like a shuttle and a car combined. I can’t say much more.

Dib (staring in through the window): Does it have one of those soda holders?

Zim (glaring at Dib): Heck no.

Dib: Darn. Gaz likes soda.

Zim: Why, are you set up for murder?

Dib: Something like that.

LATER THAT NIGHT…

Scene switches to Zim, Dib, Gaz and GIR in a long, silver vortex tunnel. The Vootrunner’s wheels are resting on iron rails that extend through the tunnel. The tunnel is dim and not well lighted except for a few purple lights at the ceiling of the tunnel and red lights above the doorway. Zim and the others are standing on a silver platform about twenty feet above the Vootrunner. Four tubes made of green glass lead to different seats in the Vootrunner.

Zim: This is where I set the Vootrunner for launch.

Dib (glancing around at the tunnel): Fancy.

Zim: Sure. (Walks up to one of the tubes) I’m getting in first, since I’m the one who’s driving. Dib, Gaz, you get in the back, and GIR is up in the next front seat.

Dib (glancing at the Vootrunner uneasily): Are you sure? It looks a bit small to me.

Zim: Oh, it’s larger inside then you think. All right… GO!

He leaps into one of the tubes and disappears from view. Dib and GIR leap into two of the other tubes, and Gaz scowls, walks up and leaps into the last one.

Camera switches to them sliding down the four tubes. Zim is smirking, GIR is laughing, Dib is grinning, and Gaz is scowling. They all arrive at the end of the tubes at the same time and land into the Vootrunner.

Dib: Man that’s not a thing like Star Wars!

Zim (looking at Dib uneasily): What?

Gaz (putting her feet up against the back of GIR’s seat): I’ll be playing my Game Slave. Do not disturb me, or you shall witness a thing I call death.

GIR: I wanna do it again!

Zim (grabbing the controls and leaning forward): Okay…Three…Two… One…

He steps on the gas and the Vootrunner revs up and shoots along the tunnel at high speed. There are flashing purple lights zipping by them, as if they are in a time warp, and the Vootrunner eases off the railings and zips up through a large hole at the end of the tunnel.

They zip off low to the ground, and enter the park. The place is deserted. Zim looks ahead and sees that every other path is blocked. Then he spots a large pond near a tree.

Zim: Okay… We’re going to have to make a sharp turn at the pond.

Gaz: Yes, whatever. Just don’t make me lose this level or you’ll wish that you’d left me behind with the robot.

Dib (muttering to himself): I wish we had.

Gaz (angrily): I heard that!

She kicks Dib hard in the side. Zim turns the steering device sharply, causing the Vootrunner to turn to one side and graze the surface of the pond, splashing water and water lilies away from it. He then straightens it, and the Vootrunner turns straight and hovers in the air for a second, then shoots off into the sky.

Zim (looking out the side window): Alright! We’ve got air! (Turns back and looks straight ahead) The radar says that we need to get to the Planet Thegosis, located somewhere near Coventina.

Dib: How do you know that we have to get to the—Thee—Oh, whatever planet you just said?

Zim: The radar detects other creatures that Irkens have captured. I’ve sensed the creature that they took to be somewhere on Thegosis.

Dib: Oh, you mean the dog creature?

Zim (nodding): Yes. (Turns to look at Dib) And by the way, Dib, the creature is called an Ergetigaton. Remember that.

Dib: Yeah, whatever.

Zim: Let’s do this!

GIR (standing up and pointing ahead gleefully): Full speed ahead!

The Vootrunner takes off until it breaks out of Earth’s atmosphere and zips over the surface of the planet. It then takes off into space.

Fade to computer image on the screen again. Camera switches to the Creature, tapping its fingers together.

Creature: Huh… They have good skill in driving. (Pauses) But we won’t let them win over us. No sir. If they get even close, my kind will unleash the ultimate weapon on them.

He gets up from the chair and, with a swish of his cape, whips around and walks out of the room, lined with computers, and into a long hallway coated with what looks like steel. He stops at a door engraved with strange markings.

He takes one of his claws and runs it in a pattern down the engravings. The door creaks and slides open, and he enters. The door closes behind him.

Camera switches to three soldiers that look like the Creature, only with sashes and not capes, roping a large dog creature. The creature is indeed taller then a skyscraper and has huge yellow teeth. It has pointed ears and a shield of steel on its back, which holds two laser cannons, and instead of paws the feet are long, clawed and lizard-like. Its tail is in a zigzag shape and is always upright. It is straining at the ropes and snapping, but the creatures are stronger then it. They tie the ropes around its neck to a long metal pole.

Creature: I see you are roping our secret weapon.

One of the soldiers turns to look at him.

Soldier: Indeed, yes. It is ready for domination.

Creature: Excellent. But we must use it to stop a few foreign creatures, if all else fails.

Soldier: Yes, oh Mighty Ruler.

The dog creature strains at the chain and roars, pawing the air with its front claws. The Creature laughs evilly.

Scene switches back to Zim, Dib, Gaz and GIR in the Vootrunner. Gaz is still playing her Game Slave, and GIR is looking out the side of the Vootrunner.

Dib (looking over the seat): So how far exactly is Thegosis?

Zim (looking at the radar): Oh, I’d say about a few more light years away.

Dib: And how fast are we going?

Zim: Well, the Speedometer says that we’re going about two-three trillion miles per five minutes. So we should reach there in about fifteen minutes.

Dib: That’s fast traveling.

Zim: Ain’t it?

The Vootrunner rockets off until it is out of sight.

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART THREE