Invader Zim – The Movie!

"Attack of the Zhengians!"

Songs for Soundtrack:

The Beatles – "Help!"

The Beatles – "Run for Your Life"

John Melloncamp – "Hurt So Good"

Pink Floyd – "Another Brick in the Wall"

Billy Joel – "You May Be Right"

REM – "It’s the End of the World"

Clear Water Revival – "Bad Moon on the Rise"

Super Tramp – "Take the Long Way Home"

Queen – "We Will Rock You/We are the Champions"

The Rolling Stones – "Satisfaction"

Billy Joel – "It’s Still Rock & Roll to Me"

Elton John – "I’m Still Standing"

[More to come as we think of them]

Script (yes, we’re starting things very fast!):

Scene One: [Fade in on deep space. A huge armada of spaceships (all sleek and black) pulls out of hyper-drive. Camera zooms in, through the window of the largest ship, to the interior of the cockpit. The Zhengian captain is sitting in the center of the large room in a metal chair with a high back. Other Zhengians are scattered about at different control stations, monitoring everything. One of the Zhengians sitting in front of what looks like a huge steering mechanism, turns towards the captain.]

Zhengian #1: We’ve entered out of hyperspace, Captain Khain, sir.

Khain: [nods] Very good, soldier. I trust we’ve had the coordinates set right?

Zhengian #1: Yes sir, we should be arriving in the 2654^th solar system any moment now.

Khain: [puts a finger to his chin] Excellent…and how long until we reach our destination?

Zhengian #1: About an hour, sir.

Khain: Good…good…we’ve waited for decades…we can wait one more hour…

[Camera cuts back to view the armada again, this time from the back as they float off into the blackness. Screen is black for a few seconds, then Theme Music starts and the Movie Logo-thing appears on screen in all its glory! Then fade to black again.]

Scene 2: [Screen is still black. Little white stars fade into focus. The camera sweeps downward and we see planet Earth. "Another Brick in the Wall" starts playing softly as the camera zooms in on the town where Zim lives. The camera sweeps through the streets of town until finding the Skool. Cut to interior of Ms. Bitters’ classroom. The calendar reads "JUNE 16". It’s the last day of school. The clock reads "2:50 AM". The kids are showing signs of restlessness, each dressed in a warm-weather-version of their normal outfit. Ms. Bitters is lecturing on to the last. Despite the speaking, the song plays on, softly.]

Ms. Bitters: Now, I know all you poor doomed children are looking forward to the start of Summer Vacation, but be well warned! Horrible things await you next year! So as you frolic in your undeserved free-time, keep in mind that you only have a few precious months of childhood left! [The kids all gasp, horror-struck. Zim looks puzzled.]

Zita: What are you talking about, Ms. Bitters?

The Letter M: Yeah. Next year’s only sixth grade.

Ms. Bitters: Only sixth grade, you say? [Smiles cruelly] You really don’t get it, do you? Sixth grade is your last year in this Skool. After that, you’ll be headed straight for…[long pause for dramatic effect]…Middle Skool!! [The kids gasp and exchange nervous looks] There, you’ll be tortured in ways you never dreamed possible!! [As Ms. Bitters rants, the camera pans the classroom]. You’ll get up at six in the morning! [Aki gulps, Brian shudders] You’ll have to remember locker combinations! [Rob shivers, Sarah whimpers] That is, if the upperclassmen decide not to lock you in them! [Melvin crouches lower in his seat, Alex nearly chokes on his pencil, which he’d been chewing the eraser of] You’ll have eight classes a day! [Carl and Chunk look at each other, terrified] And each class will have a different teacher! [Mathew P. Mathers III screams, Spoo bites his lip] And each in a different classroom! [Tae tugs at his collar uncomfortably, Keef hides his head with his arms] The building is so large, it’s impossible not to get lost! [Smolga glances around, kinda schizophrenic-like, Penny bites her nails] The hallways are more crowded than the freeway at rush hour! [Smeedge and Gretchen hug each other and wail] So you’d better get used to your horrible fates now, while there’s still time. [Cut to view of the clock, which strikes 3. The bell rings] Go now. [She points to the door] Enjoy your summer, if you can.

[The kids hurry out of the classroom and once they’re in the hallway they stop for a moment to look at each other]

Zita: You know…Middle Skool is still a whole ‘nother year away…

Tae: Yeah. Why should we be worrying about it now?

Spoo: Right! A year is ages away! Like eternity!

[Their moods lifted greatly, the kids cheer and run outside and onto the playground. Only Zim and Dib are left in the hallway.]

Zim: [to himself as he walks towards the door] What is this…Summer Vacation? Why would the Earthanoids give their children months of free time?

Dib: What’s the matter, Zim? You don’t seem too excited. That’s not normal, you know. [He slips his trench coat off as they step outside] Most kids wait all year long for Summer Vacation. And I know exactly what I’m gonna do this summer…spy on you!

Zim: [glares at Dib] That’s what you think, Earth stink. But I’ll have you know that I’ve been adding improvements to my home’s defenses for the past week! It’d be a miracle if you even got near the front door!! AHH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Dib: We’ll just see about that, Zim! I’ll see you around…but you won’t see me! Ha ha ha! [Walks off through the crowds of partying children]

Zim: FOOL!! Just try and breach my security!! I dare you!! Just go ahead and try!! You won’t make a fool of me this summer, Dib!! [As he stops his rant he looks around. The kids are all staring at him.] What are you looking at?!?!

[The kids go back to their celebrating and Zim walks off. As he walks down the streets towards home, camera cuts to the sun, burning brightly up in the sky. Zim begins to sweat, and wipes a hand across his brow. But the sun keeps getting hotter and hotter, and as he smolders more and more, he pulls off his gloves and rolls up the sleeves of his tunic, revealing his skinny green arms and 3-fingered hands. He makes it to his house, still sweating.]

Zim: Curse this Earth sun…how can the humans stand this heat?? [As an answer, a few kids run by, squirting each other with water guns.] If only their water wasn’t so acidic…I must find a way around the heat!!

G.I.R.: [bounding out of the house in his dog costume, slurping a juice box.] Hi!!

Zim: G.I.R.! How can you stand being in that costume in this heat??

G.I.R.: I’ve got ice cubes in my head!!

Zim: Uh…huh…

G.I.R.: You should try it, it’s…[He stops, staring blankly.] uh-oh…BRAIN FREEZE!! Hehehehehe! [He holds his head and laughs.]

Zim: [retreating into the house] Computer! Activate the cooling unit!

Computer: Cooling Unit Activated!

Zim: [looking around] I feel no difference. Computer, run a diagnostic to make sure the cooling unit is functioning properly.

Computer: [beeps, whirrs and whistles] Diagnostic complete. Cooling Unit has melted.

Zim: Melted?!?! How could that be?? Surely the Earth sun could not be that hot!!

Computer: Irken technology has been exposed to more heat than can be handled…total meltdown inevitable.

Zim: TOTAL MELTDOWN?!?!?! This can’t be!! G.I.R.!!

G.I.R.: [drops from out of nowhere next to Zim, now out of his costume] Yes, my Master? [In robotic voice, eyes going red for a moment and he salutes.]

Zim: We need to find someway of cooling down the house before it melts!

G.I.R.: [Still in the robotic voice] Yes, SIR!

Scene 3: [Dib is just getting home. Gaz is seated on the front step in the shade, playing her Game Slave 2, dressed in her usual outfit, except no sleeves and no leggings.]

Gaz: [not looking up] What took you so long?

Dib: [shrugs] Nothin’. I was just enjoying my first moments of freedom, I guess.

Gaz: You’re so weird. I guess you’re gonna waste your summer trying to stop Zim from conquering the planet, right?

Dib: Of course. And it’s not wasting! Someday you’ll thank me for this, Gaz!

Gaz: Yeah. I doubt it. [Dib ignores her and goes inside.]

[Camera cuts back to the 2654^th solar system. The Zhengian Armada is closing in on the planet Irk. Cut to the Capitol Building on Planet Irk. Cut to interior throne room. Red and Purple are seated (naturally) on their thrones, but neither of them is looking their usual cocky selves. They both are watching a giant monitor nervously. The image on screen is of the Zhengian Armada looming closer to Irk.]

Purple: [turns to Red] This is bad, right?

Red: Duh!

Communications Irken: Sirs? We have an incoming transmission from the Zhengians. Shall I put it through?

Red: [gulps] Very well. Go ahead. [The C.I. twists a dial and Captain Khain appears on the monitor]

Khain: Well, well, well. The Almighty Tallest. It certainly has been a long time, hasn’t it?

Red: [hiding his nervousness with an annoyed attitude] What do you want, Khain?

Khain: You of all people should know that, Red. I’m sure you’re aware that our peace agreement has expired.

Purple: It did? I thought we arranged to renegotiate…didn’t we?

Khain: Yes…we did…but as it turns out, you two bumbling idiots failed to attend the meeting!! [Leans forward, gripping the arms of his chair angrily]

Red: [laughs uneasily] Did we now…? [Glances at Purple]

Purple: [nods] Yeah…we had another appointment… [He gazes upward. Screen blurs into a flashback of Red and Purple getting massages from a pair of blue-skinned alien girls.]

Flashback Purple: Didn’t we have that peace-agreement thing with the Zhengians today?

Flashback Red: Yeah, but would you really rather be there then here?

Flashback Purple: Nah. [They both sigh. Screen blurs and comes back into focus on Purple. He’s blushing slightly.]

Khain: [Seems to get the hint and rolls his eyes] I see…and I’m sure it was very important…

Red: Yes it was. Now…maybe we can reschedule?

Khain: [laughs] Oh it’s too late for that, boys. According to the 5^th clause of the last agreement, the treaty had to be reinstated within 48 hours of the expiration date, or the planet that failed to attend the renegotiations was susceptible to a full-scale invasion by the second planet. And of course…you both know what that means, right? [Red and Purple look at each other and gulp. Khain’s laughter is heard. Fade to black.]

Scene 4: [Back at Zim’s house, it’s late afternoon and he and G.I.R. are just finishing installing the new cooling unit to the roof.]

Zim: [wipes his brow, still sweating. He has now cast his tunic aside.] Phew. That should do it G.I.R. We won’t have to worry about that wretched Earth sun any longer!

G.I.R.: [points at Zim’s back] How come you’re all red?

Zim: Huh? [Tries to twist around to look at himself and sees that his back is all red – sunburned.] What is this madness?? What has that horrible sun done to me?? [G.I.R. pokes him in the back and he howls with pain, then jumps down from the roof. G.I.R. follows.]

G.I.R.: Did that hurt? I’ll do it again!!

Zim: No!! That’s quite all right, G.I.R. [He ducks inside the house and rushes down to the lab.] Computer! I need a read out on my skin cells. [A glass tube drops down over him and flashes a dim red. The tube is sucked up quickly]

Computer: Skin cells have been burned by Earth’s yellow sun.

Zim: BURNED!? This can’t be! Computer, is there any way to heal it?? [Cut to Zim sitting, rigid on the couch in the living room. G.I.R. is applying a pale green ointment to Zim’s back. Zim is gritting his teeth, wincing with pain. "Hurt So Good" is playing in the background.] There has got to be another way…

[Cut to a wide view of the outside of Zim’s house. The sun is now starting to set. The kids are gathering in the streets, happy as ever, shouting about an ‘End-of-Skool-Year Pool-Party’. "You May Be Right" is playing in the background. The news of the party is now reaching Dib & Gaz’s house. Cut to interior their living room.]

Prof. Membrane: [coming into the room with a sandwich] Kids, there’s quite a ruckus outside. What’s going on?

Gaz: [dressed in a black bathing suit, a dark purple jacket over it, still playing her GS2] Pool Party. We’d be going, if [calling towards the stairs] Dib wasn’t taking so long to get ready!

Dib: [slides down the stairs, dressed in black swim shorts and a blue t-shirt with the gray smiley-face] Ok, ok! I’m here. [Looks up at Prof.] We’ll see you later, Dad.

Prof. Membrane: Well, I’m glad to see you’re taking an interest in social-interaction. Have fun then!

Gaz: Yeah right. Let’s go, Dib. [They leave, Gaz still playing her GS2]

[Cut back to Zim’s house. Zim is at the window, watching the kids marching down the street.]

Zim: What is this? The Earthanoids are gathering, G.I.R.! Perhaps it would be wise to investigate.

G.I.R.: [dropping down next to Zim in his dog costume] PARTY!! Yahoo!! Here! [Holds up a pair of black swim shorts] You’ll need these!

Zim: [takes the shorts uneasily] What do you know that you’re not telling me?

G.I.R.: You’ll see. Hurry! We don’t wanna miss it! [Cut to Zim (now in the swim shorts and magenta T-Shirt) and G.I.R. following the kids down the street. They reach the community pool and it seems to be in better condition than anything else in the town. It’s overrun with kids.]

Zim: It appears to be some sort of festival, G.I.R. What do you suppose it means? [Glancing around at the kids] They’re all acting like monkeys!

G.I.R.: I like monkeys! [Zim growls]

Dib: [coming up behind Zim] Well, I didn’t expect to see you here, Zim. I wouldn’t think you’d want to be near this much water. [At the word ‘water’, Zim’s eyes widen and he sees the pool for the first time.] I hope you came prepared. They don’t call it a pool party for nothing. Ha ha ha ha! [Dib walks off, grinning.]

Zim: [in a hushed voice] G.I.R.! What am I going to do??

G.I.R.: I brought glue! [His head opens for a second and a glue bottle pops out]

Zim: Of course! Good work, G.I.R. [taking the glue bottle, he dashes off-screen]

G.I.R.: Oh…my glue…[sniffs the air] I smell…Hot Dogs!! [He runs off excitedly towards a spot where kids are working a grill] Hot Dogs!! [He knocks the kids over,