Cyber Wars By Cari


Gir the robotic sidekick was sitting in the living room drinking a chocolate-bubblegum slush-o. Or rather, he was using as much power as he could to suck the stuff from the cup, through the straw, and into his mouth, while trying to swallow said stuff. Finishing the last of his slush-o, Gir turned on the TV. The Scary Monkey show just happened to be on. Sighing in content, Gir said, "I love this show."

Suddenly the door burst open and Zim stumbled inside. He slammed said door shut and leaned against it breathing heavily, his artificial hair tussled, outfit torn, bruised and scratched in various places. "You can't escape ME Zim!" Dib yelled, "I'll get you one of these days!!" Gir walked over to where Zim was and looked out the window. Dib was every bit as roughed up as Zim.

`That annoying human is harassing my master again!' fuming, Gir yanked the window open and yelled at Dib "You better leave before my master does something that's not nice!"

"What's he gonna do?" Dib sneered "Throw another stick at me?"

`That would explain why you have that wooden thingy in your hair' Gir thought.

Zim, who had completely recovered, pointed a ray gun out the window. "No, but how about a shot of plasma? Think that'll do?" Dib, realizing he was about to be turned into toast, jumped out of the way as Zim fired, leaving a crater in the sidewalk.

Fearing for his life, he ran away, but not without shouting over his shoulder "I WILL succeed someday! And when I do, you will be nothing but a science display!"

"Is that your best?!" Zim retorted, but Dib had already gone.

Gir went over to his empty slush-o cup and picked it up. "I miss my slush-o." he said in a distant tone. A butterfly fluttered by his face. "Butterfly!" He happily cried. Dropping the cup, he gave chase yelling, "Butterfly! Butterfly! Butterfly!" He ran into a nearby table and knocked it over, thus causing the vase on top to get stuck on his head. "My head's in a vase.-YAY!"

Zim rolled his eyes and said, "I'm going into my lab Gir. The next time I see you, make sure your head is free of that vase thing."

"Yes Master!"

Dib was back at his own house. He was sitting on the sofa watching Gaz playing Kiss: Psycho Circus on their Dreamcast while grumbling to himself. Suddenly, the giant spiders that Gaz was virtually destroying took the form of Zim. "Wha--?!" he gasped, then shook his head. A quick look at the screen confirmed what he feared: either he was beginning to go insane, or he had just been staring at the screen too hard too long. The giant spiders that had become multiple Zims were once again spiders.

"What's your problem?" Gaz inquired, her eyes never lifting from the screen "This game to much for you to take?"

"No," Dib defensively said "I was just staring at the screen to hard."

This seemed to satisfy Gaz. "Yeah, that happens to me too. It's really funny when it does because all the enemies begin to look like you. Suddenly, her eyes became glazed "Hehe. take that Dib."

Dib began to shake his sister "SNAP OUT OF IT GAZ!!"

"Get your hands off of me!!" she yelled. Her game made an audible splat, and showed the words GAME OVER. "You made me mess up my game!" she looked around for Dib, wanting to do some horrible thing to him, but he had already left. When Gaz gets a game over it's usually best to leave the room, or preferably the country.

"Now that I'm by myself I can begin making plans to stop Zim." Grinning, Dib took out a few sheets of blue print from his desk and began drawing without any clear idea about what he was going to do. Muttering incoherently, he kept working until he had a clear idea of what he must do. Pulling it off would be a problem though.

"Gir! I have the perfect plan to take over Earth! I. Gir, what on Irk--?"

Gir had not followed Zim's orders. Actually, he couldn't as the vase wouldn't come off. So he cut two holes for his eyes and a large hole for his mouth. He had also put a vase on his body by cutting holes for his arms and legs.

After explaining all of this Zim was still confused. "But Gir, why did you put your body into a vase?"

"I like vases!" was Gir's reply.

Zim arched an eyebrow. "Never mind! Gir, I need you to listen carefully: My plan requires lots of work, so I'll need you to help me with your advanced technology. Okay?"

"Slush-os are good!"

Zim stared at him for a second "Riiight. Anyway, here are the blueprints. Look them over very carefully." Zim left that part of the laboratory then.

Gir stared at the blueprints which was, to him, complete nonsense. He walked over to the wall of TVs and turned them on. "I love this show."

"Are you sure this is safe Dib?"

Dib had managed to finish his idea, which was a cybersuit. It had flight boots, laser cannons, not to mention one heck of an armored defense system. Now all it needed was a test run. Gaz was the tester.

"Of course it's safe! I wouldn't be testing it if it wasn't!" replied Dib, who was crouching behind a pile of sandbags, next to a catapult, while wearing a black fire proof body suit, and a army helmet that read `Be all that you can be, or almost that if it's too much for you to accomplish.'

"What should I do?"

"Just stand there for a minute."

He loaded the catapult with a rock, then shot it at his sister. It bounced of the suit as if it were a pillow.

"Cool suit." Gaz commented.

"Now try the laser cannon. No, not at me! Shoot the tree over there." Grumbling, Gaz obliged. The tree was reduced to a stump. "Now try flying."

"Will you quit bossing me around Dib?!"

"Just.use the boots."

Unfortunately, the boots didn't work. Or rather, they over worked, causing Gaz to crash into the pile of sandbags.

Reader, it is fortunate you weren't there. Dib was hidden under the sandbags, so Gaz might've opted to hurt you first. But you weren't there, so Gaz burrowed through the sandbags until she found Dib.

"Gaz, wait!! That wasn't supposed to- OW!"

"All right earth! Prepare to be rocked!"

Zim was all set with his giant robot. It was quite like the one he used to destroy Irk. He was still quite embarrassed about the whole thing so he checked to make sure he was on Earth, not Irk three times. By now, Gir had become a walking piece of pottery. He had added four different vases to each of his appendages. Gir was afraid of being inside the robot, so he flew along side with it. "Doom, doom, d-doom, doom, dooooom!" Gir sang.

"This is going to be great Gir! We're going to conquer earth, and no one' s going to stop us!"

"Oh, do you really think so Zim?"

"Who the-Dib! I should have known!"

Dib smiled in a cruel way and said "A giant robot, how original. I suppose you think you can stomp earth with your little toy here. Ha. I laugh at your pitifulness. Ha. Ha ha.-Hahahahahahahaha!!!"

Zim's hands were clenched into fists. As he did so the robot's fists clenched too. "You've been asking for this for a looong time, earthboy. Take that!" Zim's fist flew through the air, as did the robot's, and it connected with Dib, who crashed into a nearby building. The blow's power was halved, however, by Dib's artificial strength.

"Ha! Practically child's play, Zim! You should try something more useful like LASERS!!"

The impact was incredible. Zim had poor defense because he wasn't expecting anything like this. The fight went downhill from there. Or uphill, depending on who's side you're on. Dib was stronger, faster, and more insane than he had ever been. Before long, Zim's robot was destroyed. The only thing that wasn't destroyed was the cockpit, and it could transform. "I have to get out of here, now!!" Zim turned it into an Irken army ship and flew off.

"Oh no you don't!" yelled Dib, and he flew off after Zim. "Time to call in the mechanical bees!" Dib pressed a few buttons. The roof on his house opened, and out flew hundreds of mecha bees. They raced toward their target, Zim, and managed to make him crash in a dead end alley.

"NOOOOO!! Stupid, evil human bees!"

Zim began to get up from the ground, facing the three dark walls of the alley. Behind him, the dark figure of Dib quietly landed. "You're cornered Zim. You have no place to go. Time for you to make acquaintance with the autopsy table."

"MASTER!! NOOOOOO!!" Gir, seeing his master in danger, had rushed in to make the rescue.

"Oh, go away you annoying thing!" Dib yelled, and smacked Gir with his fist. Gir smashed into a nearby wall and gave a yelp of surprise as the impact broke all of his vases.

"My vases! Now you're gonna get it!" Gir lashed out with frenzied attacks, his eyes burning red with anger. Dib couldn't retaliate; Gir was everywhere at once. No longer a gentle, loveable robot, Gir was an incarnation of the devil himself. With one final blow Dib's cybersuit was destroyed.

"What kind of a hellish robot are you!?" Dib yelled.

"He's MY hellish robot, Dib. I suggest you leave before he loses it again."

"You may have won this time Zim!!" Dib yelled over his shoulder "But I'll beat you next time! Remember that!"

"Oooooh, I'm shaking in my boots." Zim yelled. Turning to smile a rare smile at the robot who had saved his life Zim said "C'mon, Gir, lets go get some chocolate-bubblegum slush-os. My treat"

The end (for now.)