Close Encounters of the Zim Kind

by Invader A-Bomb

(setting: Zim's house)


Zim: GIR, be quiet! I'm trying to figure out how to conquer this filthy planet.

GIR: Why?

Zim: Because it's my mission as an Irken Invader!

(camera flips to Dib's house, where Dib was recording the whole thing)

Dib: Aha! Zim just admitted that he's an alien! And I've got the whole thing on tape! Now everyone will have to believe it and the world will be saved!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Gaz: Hey moron! You made me lose the last level with all that yelling! YOU WILL PAY!!!

Dib: Whatever. But I finally have evidence to prove that Zim is an alien!

(camera flips back to Zim's house, where Zim is getting in his Voot Runner to gather more information about Earth)


(Voot runner crashes)

Dib: Oh, my gosh! Zim without his disguse! I got to get a picture of this! The more evidence, the better! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(the next day, at school)

Ms. Bitters: The universe is doomed...doomed...DOOMED!!

(bell rings)

Ms. Bitters: Get out of here, miserable children.

Dib: WAIT! I have evidence to prove that that green "kid" is really an alien!

Melvin: What's wrong with you, Dib?

Dib: This tape is audio evidence to prove that little green "kid" is an alien!

(plays tape)

(later, Dib hunts down Zim once again)

Dib: Zim, you coward! Come back here and face me!

Zim: WHAT, DIB?!

Dib: Heads up! (throws a water balloon at Zim)

(Zim screams in pain)

Dib: Now, with these newly improved alien linkups, I can bring you to school tomorrow without your disguise!!! Then everybody will know your true form! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Zim: Yeah right, insolent fool boy!

(Dib chases Zim all around the city)

Zim: Leave me alone, Dib!

Dib: Awww, little alien doesn't want anyone to know his little secret?


(Dib captures Zim with his handcuffs and Zim's disguise falls off)

Zim: GIR! Help me!!

Dib: Who are you talking to, alien?

Zim: Uh, just an imaginary friend named GIR.

Dib: Whatever. You're coming to my house so I can study your alien habits.

(camera flips back to Dib's house)

Dib: I\rquote ve got you now, Zim! When the kids at school see you without your disguise, they'll know the truth about you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Dib: Dad! Gaz! I captured the alien!

Prof. Membrane: Good work, son.

Gaz: You made me lose the last level again! YOU WILL PAY!

Dib: I'll just send in my evidence to "Mysterious Mysteries" and I'll be world famous!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(Zim wakes up)

Zim: Huh? Where am I?

Dib: Zim! You're awake?

Zim: Yes, puny human. I'm awake. What's going on?

Dib: I just made you unconscious with my alien linkups and I was going to take you to school tomorrow without your disguise so I can prove to the other kids that you're an alien!

Gaz: Be quiet, Dib! I'm trying to finally beat the last level! (Zim runs away, puts his disguise back on and heads for school)

Ms. Bitters: And that's why all life on this planet is doomed, doomed, doomed, DOOMED!!!

(bell rings)

Ms. Bitters: Go home now!

Dib: WAIT!! Just a reminder everyone, watch "Mysterious Mysteries" tonight at 8:00! Trust me, you'll see something REALLY mysterious. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(Later at 8:00)

Dib: Oh my gosh! "Mysterious Mysteries" is on! (turns on TV)

("Mysterious Mysteries" theme playing on TV)

guy in TV: For years the world has wondered, are there aliens among us? Well, we here at Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery have always known \par the answer to this question. And that answer is a resounding "maybe".

Dib: Oh my gosh! They're gonna show my evidence to prove that Zim\rquote s an alien!

(camera flips over to Zim's house, where Zim and GIR are arguing over The Scary Monkey Show and Mysterious Mysteries)

Zim: No, GIR! I'm on TV.

GIR: But the Scary Monkey Show is on!

Zim: Ohh, that monkey.

(camera flips back to Dib\rquote s house)

Dib: Come on, bring on the evidence!

Guy on TV: And now, we'll take a look at these pieces of evidence from a guy named Dib...uh, there's a smudge over the last name. Anyway, here's the evidence.

Dib: (to himself) You\rquote re mine now, Zim!

(camera flips back to Zim\rquote s house)

Zim: Evidence? Uh-oh!

(camera flips back to Dib\rquote s house)

Dib: Everyone will have to believe me now! (laughs maniacally)

Ms. Bitters on tape: Zim, are you going to bring your parents to Parent Teacher Night?

Zim on tape: Yeah sure whatever.

"Mysterious Mysteries" host: How irritating. We have never had such an irritating case here on "Mysterious Mysteries".

Dib: Wha? What happened to the evidence?

(the next morning, at school)

Ms. Bitters: And that's why this class is doomed, doomed, doomed, DOOMED!!!

Dib: Did everyone watch "Mysterious Mysteries" last night?

Melvin: Yeah. I thought you said we'd see something really mysterious.

Zim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I sabotaged your video evidence!

Dib: DARN YOU ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!