Battle of the Lasers
by Invader A-Bomb
Ms. Bitters: So, these insects turned this insecticide into a deadly poison.
And that's why all biological life on this planet is just doomed, doomed,
(Ms. Bitters goes on saying "doom")
Dib: Hey Zim! Ever played Laser Tag before?
Dib: Of course you have! You play with lasers all the time back on your home
planet, don't you, Zim? Don't you?
Pam(the girl sitting behind Zim): You are SO crazy, Dib.
Dib: You're siding with the alien too, huh?
Melvin: He's not an alien, Dib. He just looks weird.
Dib: I challenge you all to a game of Laser Tag this Saturday at 2:00. Are
you up to the challenge, alien?
Zim: I accept your challenge, human stink. Your doom will impend upon you
Ms. Bitters: Go home now!
(later, at Zim's house)
Zim: Computer, explain this "Laser Tag".
Computer: Laser Tag is a game involving lasers. You play it at an arcade.
The object is to blast the other guys and to avoid getting blasted yourself.
Blast the other guys to increase your score. You lose points if you get
blasted. The player with the highest score wins.
(GIR comes in)
GIR: Hi, master!
Zim: GIR, I have work to do to prepare for my Laser Tag game Saturday. Don't
GIR: Okey dokey!
*Zim goes to his lab and creates a deadly laser to use at the game when
suddenly, his alarm goes off*
Computer: Security breach!
Zim: (yells) An intruder!
(camera flips up to Zim's living room where GIR is watching the Scary Monkey
GIR: I love this show!
(someone knocks at the door)
(GIR opens the door and sees nobody there when Zim comes back up to his
Zim: GIR, did you leave the door open again?!
GIR: No, master.
(Dib shows up at the door)
Dib: What kind of alien planning are you doing for the Laser Tag game, Zim?
Zim: None of your beeswax, puny human!
(Later, at the arcade, Zim, Dib, and the others get tickets for the next
Laser Tag game.)
Dib: 8 tickets for the next game, please.
(guy hands him 8 tickets.)
Dib: Thanks. Okay, when they call us for the silver game, we head for the
door. Got it?
Announcer: Attention in the lobby, this is your first call for the silver
game. If you are holding a ticket for the silver game and you have never
played Laser Tag before, please report to the briefing room door right now.
First call for the silver game, to the briefing room door. If you have
played Laser Tag before, there will be a second call in about 5 minutes, so
please wait for the second call. Thank you.
Dib: That's us. Come on Zim. Prepare to face your impending doom!!!!
(later, inside the briefing room, Zim whips out the ultra-powerful laser he
built in his lab)
Zim: You are SO doomed, Dib! Oh, how doomed you are!
Dib: You'll see, Zim!
(later, in the arena, Zim, Dib, and the other 6 guys from their class spread
out and prepare for the game)
Dib: (to himself) It's quiet, too quiet. Zim's up to something, I just know
(Dib sees something green wandering below)
Dib: AHA! I got you now Zim! (blasts Zim)
Zim: NO! I'm hit! DIB!!!!!! (to himself) Where could he be?
Dib: (laughs to himself) Zim will never find me in here!
(Zim overhears and tracks down Dib)
Zim: There you are! Nowhere to hide now, puny human! (blasts Dib)
(Dib screams in pain and falls unconscious)
Zim: Let this be a lesson to you, Dib. Never mess with the Irken elite.
(The other kids gather around Dib trying to see what happened)
Melvin: Dib, what happened? Are you okay?
Zim: The human has just learned a VERY valuable lesson, Melvin.
(An ambulance comes to take Dib to the hospital)
Dib: (very weakly) Wait. Zim, I will have my revenge! You'll see!
Zim: Ta-ta, Dib!
(later, at the Almighty Tallest's flagship)
Computer: Incoming report from Earth.
Purple: Not Zim again!
Red: Shouldn't he be dead by now?
Purple: What now, Zim?
Zim: Sirs, I am pleased to inform you that my main threat has been
neutralized. Taking over this planet will be a cinch. But I've still much
work to do so, Invader Zim signing off...