first love
by deprived
This all started with a weird dream I had . . . never eat chocolate pineapple pudding before bed time. . . . I have no idea where the ortho's teats thing came from...blame it on the pineapple.

It was perfect. From its blond hair to its pink plastic box.Zim peered into the plastic covering and read the words printed on it. "Bbbaaarrbiiieee . . . I must have it! It will be mine . . . oh yes . . . .it will be mine. . . . This Barbie shall belong to Invader Zim!" he said. The other people in the department store stared at him as he ranted. "What are you staring at!" he yelled, grabbing the Barbie box and running with it.

A security guard spotted him as he raced towards the exit and chased him yelling, "Hey! You didn't pay for that!" Zim tucked the box between his body and his arm and ran as fast as he could until he got home.

When he arrived home he looked furtively around before submerging to his lair. "Musn't let Gir find out about her. He'd want her . . . but she's mine . . . .mine I say! Muhahahaha........ha!" he mumbled.staring at the box. He stood there for hours . . . just staring, drooling, and occasionally mumbling something about cheese until he heard a beeping sound. He looked at the computer screen and saw that someone was approaching the house. "Must I always put up with these interruptions?!" he grumbled and sat the Barbie on the table.

Zim peered out from the peephole. It was that stupid make-up saleswoman again. He opened the door and shouted, "You stupid earth cow! I have no time for your make-up. Go away!"

"I am hhheeeerrre t..o..o deliver Mr. Giiiirrr's ooorrrdddeeerr," she stuttered and held out a box. Zim grabbed it and slammed the door in her face. "Stupid Gir! What does he need with make-up anyway?" he muttered and threw the box on the floor. He walked back to his lair only to find that his Barbie was gone .The only thing left was an empty plastic box. "By Ortho's teats! Whoever did this will pay! They will PAY!" he yelled, pumping his fist up in the air.

Zim tore his lair apart searching for the Barbie. When he could find no clues he fell to the floor, weeping like a little girl. "Why are you crying, Master?" Gir said from behind him.

"My Barbie is gone! Gone I say!" Zim wailed. "Are you talking about this thing?" Gir asked, holding up Zim's Barbie. Her hair had been shaved off and she was covered with multiple coatings of make-up. "My darling . . . what have you done to her, you fiend!" Zim squealed. He grabbed the Barbie and knelt stroking her hair. "It's all right . . . we'll fix you up. I can sew your hair back on and clean you up. . . . Maybe we can reattach your foot . . . . . ahhhah hhhhhA AA A HHHH . . ." Zim started to cry again. Gir looked at Zim for a second and left.

Gir came back an hour later, holding a package in his arms. Zim was in the kitchen trying to reattach the Barbie's foot with super glue. "You dare show your face after defiling my love?!" he yelled. Gir held out his package. "Here, Master, I've brought you a new one," he said.

"I can't just turn my love on and off like a faucet! No one will ever be able to replace her. She was perfect . . . so very very perfect . . . hey wait, is that one wearing a bikini?" Zim asked. He grabbed the box from Gir's hand and stared at it for a couple minutes. Then he threw his old Barbie in the trash and went off crooning love words to his new one.

Gir looked at the mangled Barbie in the trash. A single tear fell from her eye. "Awww . . . I think I'll go play with my make-up," he said and skipped off. When he left the tear in the Barbie's eye turned to a drop of blood. Her eyes turned into fireballs.

the end?