UNIVERSAL CRISIS PART II:
Continuing with our story, GIR finally manages to get out of the pond while Zim gets the communicator back into his backpack. Dib is highly suspicious about what a ‘Grand High Cat’ is. Is it an evil being from a distant galaxy or something?
Dib (tapping Zim on the shoulder): Yo, Zim, what exactly is a Grand High Cat? I’ve never heard of or seen one before.
Dib: Well, what is it?
Zim: A Grand High Cat is a cat creature that is in most control of our universe. There are several cat creatures that lead. The leader of the entire troop is the Leader of Them All.
Dib: So, what’s their Earth disguise? A cat suit?
Zim: They don’t need to. They know every planet in the galaxy, including my own.
Dib: Are they cat-humans, or cats?
Zim: Cats. And in further information, a special cat is stationed on each planet to guard it. Grand High Cats are the most nimble and agile of every creature here, so they make great guards.
Dib: Did you have one on your planet?
Zim (getting frustrated): Yes, but I never did get to see her.
Zim: Yes, her. A Grand High Cat is always female. It’s highly unlikely to run into a male of those. I think there’s only one in the galaxy.
Zim: That explains their scarcity. You see, Grand High Cats are extremely rare and extremely territorial creatures. They have no natural enemies and can cream about any kind of creature.
Dib: So why did this one need our help?
Zim: ENOUGH WITH THE QUESTIONS!… (Lowers his voice) Okay, the only thing that can defeat a Grand High Cat is either another Grand High Cat or a FogDog. About 60 years ago, FogDog creatures started invading our planets. They were stopped, but they plan for long periods of time and are unstoppable without the help of warriors.
GIR comes running over, soaking wet.
GIR: Whatcha doin’?
Dib looks down and sees that the lower half of his body is shrouded in a thick, pinkish fog. Zim and GIR are starting to get it also.
Dib (in surprise): Wha-ha! I think we’re going to find out!
Zim: That’s strange, where did the fog come from?
GIR: I like pink! It reminds me of sweet…piggies…
The fog totally surrounds them, and the next thing they know they are being blasted through some kind of light vortex. They hurl through the darkness until they all land, face first, on the floor of the Irk satellite. Dib picks himself up and sees a cat creature staring at him.
Dib: YAAHH! Another alien!
Leader of Them All (grinning): Ah, I see our light vortex instant teleportation through light years still works fine.
Dib (looking surprised): YOU warped us here? …I mean why do you need our help?
Leader of Them All: I was hoping you would ask that.
Dib: And I’m hoping that you don’t kill us.
Leader of Them All (laughs): Ha! I would not kill our three newest warriors.
Zim: Huh? Three newest warriors?
Dib: Whatchu talking about?
Leader of Them All: The FogDog tribe has rose again. We were three warriors short, so we chose you three. You need to help us.
Dib: Why exactly?
Leader of Them All: Do not deny.
Zim: Okay, so about these FogDog creatures- (points at Dib)- this Earth creature here doesn’t know half about FogDog tribes. Do you still have the holo transmitter?
Leader of Them All: You didn’t forget did you?
Dib (muttering to himself): An elephant never forgets.
Zim whacks Dib on the head.
Leader of Them All (typing in a bunch of numbers on a small computer 3-d device): FogDog…FogDog…Aha! I have it permitted! (Turns to Dib and gestures a paw towards him) Um…Dib, come here.
Dib slowly walks toward the Leader of Them All and stands in front of her. She points to the tube. A 3-d hologram is inside it.
Leader of Them All: What do you see?
Dib (scratching his head): Some kind of blue misty dog with two tongues and fog surrounding it. (Looks at the Leader of Them All and points at the hologram.) Is this…a FogDog?
Leader of Them All: Yes.
Dib: It just looks like an old hound. What can it do to harm the galaxy?
Leader of Them All: Watch it.
Dib: I wasn’t trying to make trouble—
Leader of Them All: No, watch the hologram.
Dib: Oh. Right.
They all look at the FogDog image as it howls, then a swirling fog surrounds it and it comes back out as a huge mutant creature. Then it bares its teeth. Dib turns to the Leader of Them All.
Dib: This—THING—It’s a shapeshifter?
Leader of Them All: Yes… and it can turn itself invisible. (Cocks her eye so it’s half closed) This is what makes it hard to defeat a FogDog. That’s why we need you three.
Zim: But you have supernatural powers, and we are merely creatures of the galaxy. What can WE do to help YOU? We can’t stop the FogDog tribe, that’s for sure…
Leader of Them All: Which is why I have planned a little solution.
Dib: You’re not going to kill us, are you?
Leader of Them All: I SAID earlier that I was NOT going to kill you. I am simply going to bite your necks and—
Dib (interrupting the Leader of Them All): AUGH! VAMPIRE! THIS IS ALL A TRICK! YOU ARE NOT COMING NEAR ME, HORRIFYING WINGED KITTY! YOUR TEETH WILL NOT TOUCH EARTHEN—
He stops when he sees that everyone is staring at him. The Leader of Them All glares at him then draws herself up to full height.
Leader of Them All: It is NOT for your blood; it is for DNA mutation. I will simply replace your cells with mine. You will remain in your intact forms but will have the swift and agility of a Grand High Cat.
Zim: You already thought of everything.
Leader of Them All: Precisely. This won’t hurt.
She streaks across all three’s necks, nipping them. Then she gracefully bounds back to the front of the room.
GIR: That’s it?
The Leader of Them All nods.
Dib: That’s funny…I don’t FEEL any different…
Then his ears disappear, and soon after two long pointed cat ears shoot out of his head. Dib yells in surprise.
Zim: Is this activity pain—YAAH!
As soon as he says ‘pain’, three long black tails shoot out on him. They curl, then drop limply. The same thing happens to Dib, while Zim receives cat ears also. Then the same things happen to GIR also, and finally the procedure is ended by them sprouting claws.
Leader of Them All: Looks like I overdid it. You weren’t supposed to receive those…oh well, at least you have new instincts. We might be able to stop the FogDog tribe now.
Zim (looking at the claws he sprouted): Well, I must say that we look okay. At least we’re not Sludge Monsters or anything.
Leader of Them All: Okay, so now you have to get to the FogDog tribe headquarters, located on Pluto. Oh, and remember (starts to walk down the hallway) The powers will wear off, so do it quickly.
GIR (holding up his hand): I got claws!
Zim: Come on, let’s backtrack to Pluto.
Dib: We can’t BREATHE on Pluto!
Zim: Of course we can! We have new instincts, remember? We don’t NEED air!
Dib: Of course. I knew that.
The three take off out of the satellite.
TO BE CONTINUED…