Quick author’s note: Anyone that’s already read this story on FF.NET may notice a few variations between that version and this one.  Nothing too big, just a few new things added, a sentence or two deleted or tweaked, stuff like that, so you’re not just going crazy.  This version is newer, and more up to my perfectionistic standards, so please enjoy it before I go and rewrite it again ^_^ 


Disclaimer:  Invader Zim characters are a © of Jhonen Vasquez.  ‘Alice in Wonderland’ originally created by Lewis Carrol, but I believe the book is now public domain.  Whatever :P



*+*+Dib in Wonderland*+*+ by Spectra



Part 1:  Fall of Doom


The sun was shining in a clear blue sky, bird song flittered through the air, and the world was draped in lush green shadows from the trees hanging overhead… but Dib wasn’t paying attention to any of that.  His bespectacled eyes were instead fixed on a certain kid with green skin, a black pompadour, and no ears walking his so-called ‘dog.’  Zim stood there looking exasperated and bored beyond belief as his little, equally green puppy sniffed around him in a circle following a bug it had discovered.

            Dib observed the scene for a few moments; now GIR was staring up into a tree and playing peek-a-boo with a squirrel, and Zim was starting to drool, his eyelids half shut.  He’d come to the park to spy on Zim, but not much was happening in the way of incriminating evidence so Dib pulled away his binoculars and leaned back against the thick tree trunk, rubbing his eyes.  He was having trouble keeping them open having stayed up till three AM watching a ‘Mysterious Mysteries’ marathon.  Dib yawned and his eyelids fluttered as he sat back and thought about how nice and cool the grass felt and how great it was to lay in the shade, how sleepy the sun was making him feel and how he longed to just lie against the tree and…  

“No!” he forced his eyes open and shook his head stubbornly.  “I can’t let my guard down!  I’ll never rest until I expose Zim for the alien parasite he is, even if it means losing a little sleep.”  Hearing his own voice snapped him out of his fatigue a bit and he peeked around the tree trunk.

            “Just wait Zim,” he smirked.  “You can’t pretend forever, and when you slip up I’ll be fully alert and ready,” Dib raised the binoculars once again, his gaze set like steel, a determined look on his face as he watched his enemy, waiting to strike at any given moment. 


            *            *            *


Ten minutes later, Dib awoke from where he’d passed out in the grass.  He groaned and sat up, little blades of green stuck to his face.  Quickly he grabbed the binoculars and looked over to see what Zim was up to.  “Great,” Dib frowned, “he’s gone.”  

Dib stuck the binoculars in his backpack with a sigh, angry with himself for falling asleep and missing out on the perfect opportunity to spy on the alien when he heard a familiar voice shouting, “Oh no, I’m late!  I’m late!”

“Zim?”  He hadn’t left the park after all, thought Dib and looked in the direction of the voice.  Zim was rushing quickly towards him, only he didn’t look like he had a few minutes ago; he was now wearing a furry hood with white bunny ears attached to it and had a pink dot of a nose placed in the center of his face, his usual clothing replaced by a white shirt under a red jacket adorned with gold buttons.  Dib watched dumbfounded as the alien skidded to a stop directly in front of him and pulled a large, gold watch out of his pocket, his eyes wide with panic.  “She’s going to have my head for this!” he cried and darted past Dib.

“Zim!?” Dib scrunched up his face in confusion.  Instantly he was on his feet and running across the grass in pursuit of the oddly attired Irken, but it was hard keeping up with the speedy little Zim bunny. 

“Zim!” he called through his panting breaths as he gradually began to catch up, “Where are you going?  ~ huff~ And why…~huff~ why the heck are you dressed like a bunny!?”

“I am no bunny, I’m a rabbit!” he snorted indignantly, “And I have no time for your foolish questions stink beast, I’m late!”  Then with that, Zim disappeared down a large hole in the side of a hill, half hidden under a hedge.  Dib, who was too puzzled to think straight, never even considered that this could be some sort of trap and popped in after him. 

He crawled along the cramped, dark tunnel on his hands and knees, calling out Zim’s name as he went.  Am I losing my mind or was Zim really dressed as a rabbit? Dib wondered, then as the shock began to wear off and his rational mind took over, he realized how carelessly he’d acted by following in after the devious little extraterrestrial. 

“I don’t know if I ought to be doing this,” he worried, “Maybe I should turn back while I still- YAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!”  Dib’s words were suddenly interrupted by his screams of terror as the ground underneath his hands abruptly took a sharp slide downwards, and he plunged headfirst down a gaping black hole. 

Dib’s breath caught in his throat as he tumbled through the air, and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, waiting for the bone-shattering impact that was sure to come.  He waited… and waited… and waited.  “Hmm?  What’s taking so long?” he drew his brows together impatiently.  “If I’m gonna die I’d like to get it over with.”  He dared to open one eye slightly and found that he was still falling, but it didn’t seem he was falling very fast.  In fact, he seemed to float gently downwards, his long black trench coat billowing out gracefully behind him as he fell further and further.  “T-this is impossible!” he stuttered.  Dib looked at the walls and noticed they were covered with cupboards, picture frames, mirrors, coat hangers, clocks, bookshelves, and a whole bunch of other things you wouldn’t expect to find in a hole.  A number of objects like tables and chairs were also floating up past him and Dib raised an eyebrow. 

“This is no normal hole,” he said, clearly stating the obvious.  “Maybe I’m falling into another dimension.  What if Zim set this whole thing up so that I’d follow him here and be sucked into a pit of hideous doom!  But why the bunny costume?  And why set this whole thing up when he could’ve just as easily zapped me with a death-ray or something?  And how did he know I was in the park when I was being so stealthy and…” Dib went on and on, trying to comprehend the situation.  He had a habit of talking to himself in long monologues, a sad result of having no friends. 

Dib looked down.  Try as he might he couldn’t see an end to this long hole.  “What if there is no end,” he thought, then snorted and quickly dismissed the idea.  There had to be an end; the Earth was only so big he reasoned.  “I suppose I’d eventually come out on the other side… but wait,” he lowered an eyebrow, “That’s impossible because I’d be burned to a crisp before I even made it to the outer core.” 

This thought didn’t exactly put Dib’s mind at ease.  “Well um, then again… maybe the Earth is hollow,” he thought, trying desperately to push the other image out of his head, “and in that case I wouldn’t have to worry about burning up.  Still, once I reached the center of the Earth I’d be stuck there since every way would be up… but that’s ridiculous,” he chuckled, “because once I got there the incredible force of the Earth’s gravity would crush me like a wadded up gum wrapper.”

Somehow this thought didn’t make Dib feel any better either, so he decided to just shut-up and concentrate on the passing scenery.  A number of very strange objects swirled past the boy as he fell including a pink, dead bunny in a jar, a creepy looking Doughboy, a freaky Elmo doll, and an ugly looking Chihuahua.  “Oooooo-kay…” Dib narrowed his eyes, coming to the conclusion that he’d had quite enough scenery… Still, a part of him kinda wished he’d brought a camera.

Minutes passed and Dib continued to plummet.  The fall seemed to be taking forever and he was getting pretty bored.  Just as he was debating on whether or not to start a round of ‘Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall,’ the laws of gravity suddenly returned and he dropped the short, remaining length of the hole, landing with a loud THUD!

“Oww,” Dib sat up and rubbed his backside, groaning.  He’d be feeling that one in the morning.  Now where am I?” he asked no one in particular.  Just then he spotted a flash of red and white out of the corner of his eye heading down a long hallway.